ACURA
Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
AMC
Ain't My Car
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Design Implementations
Always Upsidedown, Double Interest
Another Understated Dealer Incentive
BMW
Big Money Works
Brutal Money Waster
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Bought My Wife
Blew My Money!
Big Money Wasted
Buys More Women
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHRYSLER
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Reprocussions
DODGE
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
Fix It Another Time
FORD
Fix Or Repair Daily
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Detoriation
Driver Returns On Foot (spelled backwards)
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of R&D
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Flip Over, Read Directions
Fork Over Remaining Dough
GM
General Maintenace
General Malfunction
GMC
Got a Mechanic Coming
Garage Man`s Companion
Get My Checkbook!
Get More Cash!
HONDA
Had One, Never Did Again
Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything
Honda Options: No Deal Available!
Hold On, No Dealer Addons!
Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
Hang On, No Dealer Acquisistions!
HYUNDAI
Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive
Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside
MAZDA
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Most Are Zealously Duped Always
MITSUBISHI
Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC
Poor Old Neanderthal Thinks It's A Cadillac
Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned
SAAB
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Start Adding Additional Brakefluid
TOYOTA
To Often Yankees Overprice This Automobile
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories
VOLVO
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options
VW
Virtually Worthless